It was 4:30 in the morning and I was rudely awakened by the violent barking of a pack of three Schnauzers being walked by their owner outside my bedroom window. I had forgotten to set my 4:15 alarm the night before so I had over slept, but being awaken by the heart pounding startle of barking dogs was not my idea of a good way to start one’s morning.
A quick shave and I was off to the gym. I had a USGBC meeting to attend, across town at 7:00 am so my workout plan for the day was to complete one hour on the rowing machine, about 7 miles, and be back home by 6:00 to shower, dress and leave the hose by 6:45. I was already running late but I was determined to complete my allotted rowing distance.
Back home by 6:20, I remove my running shoes along with my sweat saturated shorts and shirt, to sep on the scale. I was pleased with the 173 lb digital reading and 21% body fat. It had taken me six months to reach this point, down from 200 lbs and 30% body fat back in June of 2011, and at the young age of 57 I now feel better than I have in the last ten years.
I was late to my meeting but managed to get a plate of fruit and some scrambled eggs for protein to rejuvenate my body. As I sat down to the table, the morning speaker began his presentation. It was quite boring, a forty-minute self serving talk about him, his company and how great they are at performing their work.
Not compelled to listen any longer, I pulled out my Smartphone and to scan my e-mails. And there it was, exactly what I needed, another dose of humorous reality dished by one of my favorite writers on her blog: “Snotting Black.” This morning’s title: YOUR LIFE COACH RECOMMENDS BISCUITS FROM THE PORK STORE CAFÉ. I quickly opened the link to her page and began devouring every word, hoping to take me far away from the drone of the morning speaker. She opened her story about her alarm clock wakeup call then quickly moved on to her delicious topic of morning breakfast. However, as I read on I could feel the osmotic effect of calories being fed into my body with every word. As if the Pork Store Cafe was not cholesterol sounding enough, she kept piling on the fat with a dish called the “Tasty Nest,” which consisted of two eggs over easy gently laid across the most delectable mixture of hash browns, peppers, onions, cheddar cheese, and a wild amount of bacon. As if that was not bad enough, she drooled all over her page about the ”…PAN OF PIPING HOT, FLUFFY AS HELL, FRESH OUT OF THE OVEN, HEAVEN BISCUITS…” with “…pats of butter melted with love and grace…”
After reading this morning’s epic I could feel my once loose and baggy slacks suddenly tighten as if my waist had been instantly inflated like you might see happen to a cartoon character. I must be off to work, perhaps I will walk this morning.